Love Is A Choice, Not A Feeling

Have you ever stopped to really think about that statement? Let's read it again. Love is a choice, not a feeling. Kind of goes against what most people think, doesn't it? When it all comes down to it you make a choice to love.

Everyone is not lovable all of the time. You won't even like someone all of the time. It seems in todays society people who are engaged to be married go into it with the attitude that if it doesn't work out no harm no foul, we can just get a divorce. A divorce always cost less than the wedding. I find that thought process very sad, but unfortunately true. Too bad the engaged don't spend as much time, money and effort on the marriage as they do the wedding.

When you first meet someone and fall in love there are butterflies in your stomach and you live in la la land for awhile. Then you get married and real life sneaks up on you, and you find yourself being caught off guard. The honeymoon will end, no doubt, but your love and commitment to each other doesn't have too. When the going gets tough, the tough doesn't need to get going. I firmly believe that when you enter marriage you should be in it for the long haul. Just as you say in your vows, for better or for worse. Far too often as soon as "the worse" comes so does the end. As Dr. Phil once said, "It may not have been right to marry, but now that you are married, make it right". 

When I think about what makes a marriage last 40, 50 and even 60 years it all comes down to a choice that was made. My Grandparents were married 59 years before my Granddaddy died. Now I don't know this for a fact because we have never discussed it, but I am inclined to think it wasn't always roses. I am sure there were tough times. Times that now days someone would leave. Their strong marriage just proves to me the testament of their love and their commitment to each other and the choice they made to love one another.

I actually think that comfortable feeling that you grow into with each other is a good thing. I also think you should never take each other for granted. We are all human and we all will make mistakes. We don't have to let those mistakes define who we are. We are not those mistakes. If we are blessed enough to have a forgiving spouse who is willing to give out a second chance then we need to hold on to them for dear life. You could say they are God's second chance for us.

I personally believe that once you have made that commitment and choice to love everything else will fall into place. I also believe our attitude towards things make a big difference. Just as we make a choice to love we also choose the attitude that we will embrace. With God at the center of your marriage you can't help but succeed.